June 22
I have spent these last two days in a motel near Atkins, VA. My left ankle is not supporting my weight and is painful to walk on. The right ankle is hurting from all the extra work of support I have put on it from favoring the other. It is clear that I can't continue hiking one day and resting two more to recover. It has come time to make a very difficult decision. I have called Gary at CCDM and will head home early for the convention. My hope is that the extra week off will give both of my ankles time to regain strength. At the end of the convention in Louisville, I plan to head back to Virginia and continue northbound. If my ankles have recovered, I still have the option of flip flopping north before the cold weather and coming south on the trail.
There is a Greyhound bus station south of here in Marion. I will hitch a ride down there and take the bus back to Knoxville and home. I am trying to do the right thing, but it is very difficult for me to let go and head home. From my legs up, I feel stronger and healthier than I have for over 30 years. It is hard to accept another delay based on the bottom six inches of my body!
At the same time, I have to live out the main lesson that I have been dealing with all spring. It is not really my hike. Each day starts and ends with, "not my will but thine be done." I must admit that some of the most powerful events of the experience have come through the detours and unplanned parts of the hike. I've got to be willing to see this as the same.
I will try and keep contact while at home. My greatest fear is getting sucked back into the routines and responsibilities of home and losing sight of my dream. Even as I move back south, however, everything in me still wants to "press on to the mark."
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